


Indecent Behavior

by LinksLipsSinkShips



Series: Kinktober [8]
Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: A lot of the dialogue is canon, Bored with Marriage, Crack, Cunnilingus, F/F, Face-Sitting, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 09:34:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16172417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinksLipsSinkShips/pseuds/LinksLipsSinkShips
Summary: Rhettina has been trying her hardest to spice up her marriage, even surprising her husband Henry with new grooming or roleplay, but she's still bored. Linkita hates her life and marriage altogether. Over coffee, the pair consider ways to spice things up, and end up deciding to take matters into their own hands.





	Indecent Behavior

Rhettina sighed and sat her mug down on the table. “Don’t you ever get bored?” she asked, shaking her head.

“Well, yes, that’s pretty common once you’ve been with someone so long. Truthfully, I’m not happy deep inside,” Linkita said, shrugging. “But what can you do about it? Obviously on the surface we have to keep our happy faces on.” She rested her hand on Rhettina’s, a show of solidarity. Twenty years of marriage and three children had left her just as unsatisfied as Rhettina was, but she wasn’t about to tell her husband that. “I get it, Rhettina. You know, my husband, I secretly hate his guts.”

“Do you?” Rhettina gasped, placing a hand on her chest, mouth hanging open. She hadn’t expected Linkita to get so honest with her in this conversation, to openly admit such a thing. They’d been best friends for a while, mostly by default since their husbands worked together and they attended all of the company picnics and had formed a bond. Plus, since they attended the same church and had kids around the same age, it only made sense that they’d connect. But even best friends kept secrets, and Linkita being so candid with her was a shock.

“Oh yes,” Linkita shook her head. “He’ll holler from the other room ‘my remote? Where’s my remote?’ and I just want to slap him. You’re not even lookin’ in the right room! That’s why all the remotes are taped together, darlin’, now they’ll never get lost.” Linkita laughed, her ample chest bouncing as she did.

“Linkita,” Rhettina cautioned, glancing down at Linkita’s breasts, “you’re being indecent.”

“I paid a lot of money for these, and I will let them do what they please, Rhettina,” Linkita snapped.

“You don’t need to get so harsh,” Rhettina said, stunned by her friend’s attitude. “I think maybe you need some time with your husband more than you realize.”

“You’re givin’ me a hot flash,” Linkita answered, taking a sip of her coffee. “Besides, it hasn’t been that long. Only three or four months since we last,” she held a hand to her mouth and whispered loudly across the table, “did it.”

“Three or four months!” Rhettina was in shock over that. Even at their longest dry spells, she couldn’t imagine them going more than a month and a half without doing something, even if it wasn’t something she enjoyed at all.

“You don’t judge me! It is  _ hard  _ tryin’ to juggle Cherish’s saxophone lessons with Daughtry playing bench for the football team. I can only do so much before I am burnt to a frazzle. Sometimes I forget my middle child even exists at this point, with my brain constantly farting. How do you think I have time to be intimate with my husband on top of all of that? He gets so  _ demanding,  _ too. It doesn’t stop at the remotes, Rhettina. I can’t keep up with everything he wants from me! It’s easier to just tell him I have a headache.”

“Well have y’all tried spicing things up in the bedroom?” Rhettina asked, glancing down at her leg and then back up at Linkita again, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “Could you please get Anthony Weiner Dog to stop humping my leg?”

“Oh, stop it, you know Dog the Bounty Hunter the Dog does the same thing every time I am over for a play date at your place. Just nudge him along. What do you mean ‘spicing things up?’” Linkita slurped some of the coffee from her mug loudly, then sat it back down and poured in more creamer.

“Well, I mean like roleplay. Haven’t y’all ever tried pretending to be somebody else in the bedroom? I’ve been gettin’ Henry to dress up like Colin Firth when we roleplay, ever since I saw those gifs of him on that tumblr website.”

“That’s indecent,” Linkita said, scoffing at how open her friend was being in conversation. She took another sip of coffee and sat her mug down. “Tell me more.”

“Well, the other day I shaved my kitten,” Rhettina said, giving Linkita a conspiratorial wink.

“You don’t even like cats,” Linkita reminded her, but then Rhettina glanced down and back up at Linkita, giving her a grin. “Rhettina! You are being in _ decent!” _

“You don’t take care of yours? Great, now all I’ll be thinkin’ about when you’re up there with the choir is about the untamed jungled in your britches. No wonder you aren’t satisfied!” Rhettina huffed.

“You were the one who said you were bored,” Linkita reminded her, then whispered across the table. “What does it even look like, like that?”

“I like to call it my muffin surprise,” Rhettina said. “Do you want to see it?” She winked, her voice velvety like she knew what she was doing. She didn’t, of course. Only Linkita would try spicing things up by bringing another person into the bedroom, but Rhettina had to admit, there was a part of her that was thrilled at the idea of showing it off to someone other than Henry.

“I’m getting heat flashes. You can’t just bring somethin’ like that up! It’s so indecent,” she huffed. Then she leaned across the table closer. “Yes. Yes I want to see it. Are you happy now? Givin’ me all these heat flashes all over the place.”

“Come here,” Rhettina said, lifting her skirt up to show her unshaven legs. Underneath her skirt, she wasn’t wearing panties at all.

“You’re not wearing any underwear!” Linkita noted, aghast at the realization, but she got closer, looking at Rhettina and reaching her fingers toward it, then pulling back, unsure if she could touch. Rhettina reached forward and grasped her hand, placing it on the smooth skin there. “Well, I’ll give you one thing. You always go the extra mile. That’s the thing about you. It’s so smooth!”

“The secret is to use a little bit of that hair conditioner. Then you’re not wastin’ money on shaving cream but it gets it all nice and smooth like that,” Rhettina shared.

Linkita pulled her hand away from Rhettina’s skin, fanning herself. “Goodness me, my brassiere has a pool of sweat underneath it. “Typically when I’m bein’ that intimate with someone’s… personal bits… well, let’s just say usually I’m braless by now!” She chuckled, still shaking her head over the situation they’d gotten themselves into just by talking about their sex lives.

“Well, take it off, then!” Rhettina said casually. She was enjoying the direction this was going, not expecting that it would be like this when she’d brought up the conversation. Now that Linkita mentioned it, there was one thing she really wanted to see, and that was just how good Linkita’s very expensive enhanced breasts looked when there was nothing covering them. Linkita nodded in agreement and reached behind herself, struggling with the broken clasp on her bra. “Would you like help? You seem like you need help.”

Linkita nodded and grunted, still trying, then lifted the back of her shirt and relaxed as Rhettina stepped around her to help. The clasp was twisted and mangled, hard to operate even if you could see it, she worked to no avail. “How on earth do I do this?” Rhettina grumbled, trying again.

“Don’t be stupid!” Linkita griped. “You know how this works.” Surely a woman could unfasten a bra, particularly a clasp she could see, but Linkita realized she’d snapped and toned her attitude down. “I’m sorry, I’m just… just so frustrated!” she said. “Nobody ever takes my bra off anymore and it’s got me all over the place today.” Rhettina’s hands continued to struggle, then free Linkita from the bra that had been trapping her large breasts. She heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Rhettina said softly, her hands lingering on Linkita’s back well after she should have let go. Linkita turned to face her.

“I’m still havin’ them hot flashes,” Linkita said. They were far too close than was comfortable, even though it seemed like they’d been skirting around this ever since Rhettina brought up how bored she’d been lately in her marriage.

“Well it’s just us,” Rhettina said. “You could… you could cool off without your shirt on!” She started to lift Linkita’s shirt off of her, and at first, Linkita’s face twisted like she was bothered by the idea.

“I… I can take off my own-- you know what? Yeah, go ahead, do that.” Linkita seemed to be having a crisis of conscience, a hard choice between what she wanted and what she felt was decent for a proper southern girl like herself. But Rhettina did what she asked, gliding the fabric along Linkita’s skin as Linkita lifted her arms. Her breasts were so perky from the operation she’d had done, the scars hardly visible, and Rhettina was in awe of the subtle bounce of them when Linkita lowered her arms again. “Well this hardly seems fair now, me bein’ all exposed in the kitchen and you wearing so many layers!”

“Oh!” Rhettina responded, sliding her festive vest off. “Is this better?”

“Here,” Linkita said, reaching forward and pulling Rhettina’s shirt off and over her head. “This seems better.”

“Goodness! This is just like Magic Mike XXL without men! You’re makin’ me do a strip tease!” She laughed heartily, throwing her head back as her earrings jangled.

“You know, all of this seemed pretty innocent to me, just takin’ care of these hot flashes, but I’ve had a great epiphanize, a real good idear to tell you about,” Linkita was clearly more serious now, and Rhettina calmed herself to listen.

“What’s that?” Rhettina asked.

“I think instead of waiting for our husbands to spice things up for us, we need to do it ourselves. You know, take time to really appreciate the hard work we’ve been putting into our bodies,” Linkita said, taking Rhettina’s hand and placing it on her chest. “I think we both work so hard and our husbands never seem to recognize it, do they? I know you two have been doin’ the roleplay and everything,” Linkita moved closer to Rhettina, placing her hand on the front of Linkita’s skirt, “but does he really notice all that effort you’re makin’?”

Rhettina gasped and, in a hushed tone, reminded Linkita that this wasn’t right. “It’s indecent! You’re in the choir!” But it didn’t stop her from caressing Linkita’s bare skin, giving her breast a squeeze. She’d always wanted to feel it, and now she had the opportunity.

“Should bein’ in the choir stop us from findin’ satisfaction?” Linkita asked, looking up at her much taller friend. They were only inches apart now, and Rhettina couldn’t resist. She left one hand on Linkita’s bare chest, but used the other to cup her rear and pull her closer, kissing her.

“I guess if I’ve thought of restraining the Paul brothers, well, perhaps it isn’t so wrong to at least try this,” Rhettina confessed, taking a breath between kisses. With that go-ahead, Linkita no longer wanted to wait. She was sex-starved and desperate, pushing Rhettina back with kisses until Rhettina was against the table. But Rhettina wanted to give her friend attention first. “Show me this bush you’ve been growing,” Rhettina said, curious about the situation there since her friend clearly didn’t shave herself like Rhettina did. “I want to see it.”

Linkita slid her skirt down her waist, the elastic waistband making it easy to remove her clothes, revealing herself to Rhettina. “Oh my goodness, that’s just lovely. You just look so lovely.”

Linkita blushed. “Really?”

“Really,” Rhettina said. “Here.” She pulled a chair closer and helped Linkita move into a position that would give her easier access, leaning Linkita against the table and kissing her, getting her mouth on Linkita’s fake breasts.

“You can keep doin’ that but they’ve been out of sensation for a while. Three children and a boob job? I can’t feel a thing you’re doing. They all bit the tar out of my nipples. Everybody says to do that extended breastfeeding, but goodness, Daughtry tore them up!”

Rhettina nodded, changing her focus from Linkita’s breasts to her stomach. “Hunter Donovan was the same way,” she said between kisses, kissing the top of Linkita’s thigh, then biting at it. Linkita jerked in response, then groaned slightly and propped her leg on the chair, spreading her legs to give Rhettina room.

Rhettina took it as a good go-ahead to do something, touching Linkita hesitantly at first. She rubbed at her, guiding her wetness anywhere it was needed, especially up to her clit. Linkita couldn’t remember the last time her husband had done anything but gone right in and penetrated her, so the thought of someone focusing on her most sensitive spaces thrilled her. Perhaps, she thought, Rhettina might even be able to find her g-spot!

Rhettina worked her fingers along Linkita’s slit, pinching and rubbing her clit between her fingers and sliding one inside of her, then back out to tease her clit some more. Then she decided slow wasn’t getting them anywhere, jackhammering the hardened nub with her fingers.

“Good gracious, what are you doing?” Linkita yelped.

“I like to work quick! I just like to work so dadgum quick. I don’t have any patience for this bullcrap. I just want you to feel good,” she said.

“Well that’s forgivable, but you’re hurting me!” Linkita said, grabbing Rhettina’s wrist. “Here, let me try.” She placed her foot on the floor, pulling Rhettina toward her, then spinning their positions so Rhettina was against the table. “Here, lie back like that,” she said, moving the coffee cups they’d been drinking from and guiding Rhettina onto the table. “Yeah, that’s good,” she said. “Real nice.” Rhettina still had her skirt on, but Linkita didn’t mind that, lifting it up and finding Rhettina dripping from her freshly shaven pussy. “You really did make that look nice,” she said.

“Thank you.”

She skipped most of the foreplay, getting right down to business on Rhettina’s thighs, kissing her before moving into the one space she was really after. Instead of going at things with her fingers, she started with her tongue. Rhettina tasted sweet, vaguely salty, and she wondered what she herself tasted like. She’d never taken the time to find out. But Rhettina tasted incredible, smelled good, and Linkita found herself pushing her tongue into Rhettina. Rhettina moaned at the contact, at the feeling of Linkita using her fingers to slide into Rhettina as she let her mouth explore elsewhere, sucking on her clit and moving her head to allow for whatever gave the most contact. Rhettina moaned louder, arching her back off of the table.

“Why do ya have to moan so much?” Linkita asked, pausing anything she did with her mouth while letting her thumb rub at Rhettina. “It makes it so weird!”

“Just feels good,” Rhettina said, trying to calm herself despite being fully overwhelmed at everything Linkita was doing. Linkita returned her mouth to Rhettina, and the warmth was overwhelming. It was impossible for her to stop just because of the moans Rhettina gave off, and she found herself pushing into Rhettina with her tongue, using her nose to stimulate Rhettina’s clit as she gripped her thighs.

“Gosh dang it, that feels so good!” Rhettina exclaimed, her thighs closing slightly as she held Linkita in place. “Oh, right there, don’t stop. You’ll have me comin’ lickety splat, I swear!”

Linkita kept working, pushing deeper inside of her, then moving to finger her while licking broad swipes along the entire area before focusing on the places that made Rhettina scream loudest. Rhettina reached between her legs to run her fingers through Linkita’s hair, hooking a leg around her to keep her in place. “Yeah, like that, that’s so nice,” she said. Linkita slid her fingers inside of Rhettina again, first one, then two, hooking them and feeling around until Rhettina was coming unglued. “Oh my goodness! What  _ was  _ that?” Rhettina gasped, and Linkita wiggled her fingers again. “Oh my goodness!” she repeated.

“I think that might be your g-spot,” Linkita announced to her, continuing to press at it as she sucked on Rhettina’s bare skin again.

“Oh, yeah, I’m… ooh, yeah, you’re really good at that,” she groaned, but her words were starting to slow down and slur together, like she was slipping into a daze. Linkita slid her tongue back into Rhettina, burying her face against her skin, breathing her in and spreading Rhettina’s wetness across her cheeks, her chin, her nose as she really got into it. “Oh! Ohhh! Ohhhhh!” Rhettina moaned, and her legs shook. Linkita could feel the way her body twitched and writhed, but she kept going, through one orgasm and onto another. She kept penetrating Rhettina with her tongue, then her fingers, letting herself move from broad strokes to small movements centered around Rhettina’s clit. She started spelling any word she could think of with small tongue movements as Rhettina pulled at her hair. “Oh goodness! I can’t take any more pleasure!” Rhettina said, fanning herself after Linkita had gotten her through not one, but three separate orgasms. “How are you so good at that?”

“Well, I may be scrawny,” Linkita responded, wiping her face as he backed off of Rhettina, “but I’ve got an inner tiger.” She raised her hand into a claw and made a small growl, which Rhettina giggled at, still locked firmly in the high of the kind of pleasure Linkita had made her feel.

“I want to show you my inner tiger now,” Rhettina answered her. “You were so precise!”

“Well, it’s not that I’m being precise,” she said. “It’s that I’m not good at it.”

“Oh no, you’re very good at it,” Rhettina assured her, kissing her and tasting herself on Linkita’s lips. “You may have to give me some lessons since I’ve never done this before.”

“Well I hadn’t either until just a moment ago,” Linkita told her. “But what you were doin’, we’re gonna need to try somethin’ new. My legs can’t stand there so long like that. Here, come here,” Linkita said, pulling Rhettina to kiss her, then pushing her onto the couch backwards. “I’ve got an idear.”

“You and your ideas,” Rhettina said, looking up at her friend. Linkita straddled her, then moved her way up until she was sitting on Rhettina’s chest.

“How about you stay right there and I move you how I want you to go, okay?” It took the guesswork out and prevented the harsh, rapid work Rhettina had started with.

“Okay,” Rhettina agreed.

“You just tell me when you need to breathe,” Linkita said, and that sounded ominous. Rhettina wasn’t quite sure how to take her words, not sure what Linkita might do until she moved forward, sitting down on Rhettina’s face. “Here, I’ll move you, like this, see?” Linkita said, tugging at Rhettina’s long, blonde hair to bring Rhettina’s face up to meet her hair-coated pussy. “Mm,” she moaned, sliding herself forward on Rhettina’s face.

Rhettina liked the way Linkita seemed to be surrounding her, the pressure she felt on her body from Linkita being on top of her, the lack of control she had as Linkita put her face where she needed it. All she could smell or breathe or taste or think was Linkita, and Linkita rocked back and forth on Rhettina’s face to make sure her needs were met. Rhettina’s tongue was out, but it felt almost unnecessary, as Linkita moved in ways that sent her all the way up to grind against Rhettina’s nose until she couldn’t breathe, then back to where her tongue was. Sloppy wet sounds filled the air, muffled for Rhettina only by Linkita’s thighs around her head. She tapped Linkita’s leg, letting Linkita back off, and took a long, deep breath.

“You want to breathe? Hurry up, then, this is feeling good,” Linkita moaned. She was ever the control-freak, and it didn’t seem to make a difference whether they were discussing who was bringing what to the bake sale or now, when it was all about bringing her pleasure. Either way, Linkita wanted things under her own control, and she slid back into place on Rhettina’s face again, bouncing up and down on her.

“What’re you doin’?” Rhettina asked, taking another breath as Linkita raised herself off for a moment.

“I’m tryin’ to do that twerkin’ thing all the young kids are talking about. You know, where you really pop that booty and all that. Cherish was tryin’ to show me how it’s done and I thought it might work here instead,” she said, but it wasn’t working, wasn’t giving her the contact she desired, so she planted herself firmly on Rhettina again, wrapping a leg around her head. She squeezed her thighs together, rocking in small movements on Rhettina’s face until her face was turning red, leaning back to let her inhale quickly before sliding back on her face.

Rhettina was lightheaded, feeling like she might pass out from the lack of oxygen, but at the same time, she felt high and thrilled by the feeling of Linkita on her face, the way that Linkita took charge. It was so sexy, such a turn on for her, unlike anything she’d felt with Henry. Linkita continued to sit on her face, sliding back and forth, giving only the tiniest gasps of air before continuing, pulling Rhettina’s hair the whole time.

Rhettina loved the way Linkita tasted, loved the way she sounded as she got closer, her normally brash voice fading to softer mewls and then louder moans, turning into shouts as she rocked harder against Rhettina’s face. When she came, her legs squeezed Rhettina’s face hard, gripping her in place. It was clear that Linkita hadn’t been missing her squats. She had legs and buns of steel! The hours in her church gym seemed to be paying off.

Once she finished, she collapsed backwards onto Rhettina’s half-naked form, taking deep breaths. “That was nice,” she said. Rhettina agreed, moving to slide out from under Linkita.

“You were right, that was better than waitin’ to try to spice things up at home.” Linkita laughed a little bit, sitting up and pulling Rhettina into a soft kiss.

“So you think you’ll come see me again soon if you get bored with Henry?”

“Oh, I think we need to have coffee a lot more often,” Rhettina said to her. “You know, the kids are growin’ up and starting to walk to school, so I don’t even have to wait until after I drop them off anymore. Maybe tomorrow I could just come right over after they eat their muffins and get out the door!”

“Are you going to bring me a muffin?” Linkita asked, and Rhettina cocked her head, considering it.

“I can make extras, I guess. Do you like banana nut?”

“No, I mean, are you gonna bring me  _ that  _ muffin?” Linkita asked, grasping the area covered by Rhettina’s skirt.

“Yeah, okay, I can do that,” she said. But still, a banana nut muffin seemed like a fair way to say thank you for the four most incredible orgasms she’d had in her life, so when she knocked on Linkita’s door the next morning, she came with two muffins. One in her hands, and one hidden by a new, exciting pair of britches in Linkita’s favorite color.


End file.
